stop worrying about being “pretty”

At some point in her life, every girl longs to be pretty. Or she longs to be considered pretty. Or she longs for someone to say she is pretty. It’s just what the world has inferred almost bluntly (if you can bluntly infer something), that a girl should be. But here’s the deal, friends. This is what I found when I searched the definition of “pretty”.


adjective: attractive in a delicate way without being truly beautiful or handsome.

noun: an attractive thing, typically a pleasing but unnecessary accessory

verb: to make pretty or attractive

This only shores up what I’m getting ready to write about being pretty. Just look at the official definition, kids. Pretty, when using with other words as an adjective, means attractive in a “delicate” way, but WITHOUT being TRULY beautiful or handsome.

Who defines delicate?

Who defines TRULY beautiful or handsome?

Who even decides that?

But as a NOUN – it means attractive — but an UNNECESSARY ACCESSORY.

So, a “pretty” is something to accessorize? With something else? Not by itself?

And it’s unnecessary.

And THIS is what we aspire to be called? To be considered?

To be?

And then, the grand finale. The verb. You have to “make” pretty. “Make” attractive. So to achieve the noun part, which means attractive, you become an UNNECESSARY addition.

This is the actual dictionary definition of pretty. And we want to be that?

Although we may not have defined pretty that way ourselves while growing up, the truth of what pretty is, what pretty expects, and what pretty wants is an expectation of ourselves that is —


Pretty is completely and utterly an unnecessary ACCESSORY to what really matters and WHO you are. Because who you want to be is the ADVERB definition —

adverb: to a moderately high degree

Pretty kind.

Pretty loyal.

Pretty honest.

Pretty smart.

Pretty helpful.

Pretty determined.

Pretty capable.

Pretty amazing.

You see, you don’t have to be perfect. Well, you can’t. Because no one is. But to a moderately high degree you can be pretty ___________. And you can —

…pretty much IGNORE all the things SCREAMING at you to be pretty.

Because PRETTY isn’t what you want anyway. What you want is to have worth.

And baby, you’ve already got that.

Hey guys! I wrote a book! You should check it out on Amazon!

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For the past 21 years Carrie has touched the heart of her high school students by recognizing their unique strengths and helping them develop their fullest potential. Through the privilege of educating students, Carrie has won NBC 33’s Excellence in Education award, was featured for her innovative teaching on one of the final episodes of The Oprah Winfrey Show, and was honored as a Woman of Northeast Indiana by 21 Alive television.

Carrie holds degrees in Vocal Performance and English Education from Olivet Nazarene University as well as a master’s degree in theatre from The Ohio State University. She loves to speak to people about her heart, tell stories, and give credit to the Man who took her brokenness and became enough so she didn’t have to be: her Jesus. In addition to speaking at church and religious settings, she leads educational workshops for teachers and future teachers. She loves inspiring others to choose joy in this adventure called life. Carrie has great passion for changing the world wherever she is planted.

The most important people in her life are husband, Brady and 14 year old daughter, Kayden. Brady and Carrie pastor Grace Point Church of the Nazarene in Ft. Wayne, IN. Carrie currently teaches AP Language and Composition and serves as the English Department Chair at Carroll High School, also in Ft. Wayne, Indiana.